Day 8 of Adaptation

"What I've kept in my heart is only our good memories not anger"

Today I feel like crying. Whenever I'm in no mood situation, the number one person I'll run into was my girlfriend. But she's not here anymore. She has the effect of changing my mood instantly from worst to the better. I never need someone like I need her today. I really really need her. I was dump and sombre and no one can pick me up like she always did.

It was my postcall day. I had a really nice oncall, everything was chill no issues not until the next morning. I had this one patient admitted, and it seems my management was not up to this specialist in charge par, so she called me and we had a lengthy talk face to face, mostly me being degrading and demotivating. I felt demolished. Days like this, where I need to have her by my side while silently pouring out on her shoulder. Days like this, I realized how much an impact she had into my life. Days like this, I know, she's someone I need, who can easily protect my heart, only by her presence.

So I've cried, cried and cried until my eyes can't take it anymore. But still the pain never goes. I know eventually it'll disappear but if only she is here, the hurts will healed within seconds. The thought of her already comforting enough, what more her presence.

I know for sure, if she knows that I'm in troubles, she'll comes to me immediately. I know it for sure because that's how she's been taking care of me eversince.

And I'm missing her more until it hurts....

Day 7 of Adaptation

There are two kind of theories on how people met in my dictionary, either it's parallel or perpendicular way.

You may know these two theories when you learnt geometry in high school, parallel and perpendicular lines. Well, I forgot most of them actually. Anyways, I see myself meeting a lot of new people daily. Some of them are still being part of my life, and some of them, I'm afraid, were not. Life is a bargain. You don't always have what you need, but you always get what you don't really want, ironically.

And truth to be told, everyone who I consider I need in this life, are mostly from the perpendicular way theory. We've met on a cross section timeline, in one place at one time, before both of us continuing our own separate ways of life differently. It's sad. Because after so much of efforts and time you've given to that person, you know you won't be together forever. 

Nothing in this world stays. But as much as your mind tried to remind it, your heart still will do everything impulsely. You'll never know when you'll see or meet them again because in perpendicular line, there's only one interception. To begin with, both of you are from two different worlds, two different places, two different persons who manage to meet in one similar point of a time, and that's it.

I found it hard to believe when I lost one of my bestfriend previously. But now, it seems history does repeat itself. And maybe, maybe this is another test from the Almighty that I might have failed, once again.