Saturday, June 9, 2018

Day 14 of Adaptation

So I'm a regular for this clinic this month. It started with "why it such a busy clinic, I don't want to do locum here again," and it ended up with "ok, lets put my name in every free available slots, shall we" 

And I'm getting used to it. Maybe because it's Ramadan, fasting month, that's probably why it was so busy at night or maybe it is a busy clinic to begin with, I don't know because I just started doing this here. I always took the night slots, which is only for 2 hours (8pm-10pm) and I never can get back on time. I think I see patients fast enough but still it will always be overtime and overpaid. Haha lucky me or not I have no idea. 

Usually there'll be around 10-15 patients per night. So roughly I need to see one patient in 8-12 mins. It's like me being in Emergency department again. The adrenaline rush is real and it really excites me. I never encounter such situation in other private clinic.  Do I like it this way or not? I think yeah, it sort of reminds me the old days when I was in Emergency, the best posting I've ever had and wish to stay. And it actually makes time went by faster when you have to concentrate on handling patients. 

So my conclusion would be, I think yes this clinic is the busiest clinic I've ever see. Maybe people likes to come to this place because of the owner, whom I never met to date. Well I wish I can meet her one time and probably ask a bit on how can she managed to attract so many patients in a day, eventhough there is another well known clinic just 3-4 stores across hers. Who knows what my future held for me. Who knows  maybe one day I ended up quitting KKM and managing my own clinic. Who knows? 

PS : I have another 3 oncalls and 7 locums to go this month but I'm so damn tired to even think about it. I just have to get through this because this is the only therapy that prevent me from entertaining my emotion so far. So I need to this for the better me. 

Friday, June 8, 2018

Day 13 of Adaptation

I hate people who always underestimate others as if they are great and perfect. I don't know how they get that kind of confident to degrade other human being, but honestly, they are not worth as they think they are.

I'm so pissed regarding this situation that my colleague and I have to face everyday. People like 'X' should not exist. Demotivating and degrading people is not in human nature. I don't think 'X' understand, being honest and being rude is two different thing. Frankly speaking 'X' is rather rude than honest. It needs to stop. More people are hurting because of 'X' and if you are a human, you don't let other human down, instead you pick them up and help them out.

I'm so stressed out these few days. I feel like ventilating myself to someone. Someone who I always need, my girlfriend obviously. So I've texted her this morning telling that I really need to talk to her once she's free. Out of sudden she called me. But again, I was working in the clinic seeing patient and I can't really talk to her that time. So I hung up on her. I always know she is someone that caring. She surely will get me everytime I'm in need, at instance. The problem is, we work in different working hours. Not only distance now that envy of us, but also time.

She said I'm strong. Little did she knows, being in a battlefield without her here is much difficult and I'm still adapting. Trying hard not to think about it while making myself busy with work, locum and other stuff like writing here. 

So, yeah I'm barely survive over here dear girlfriend.


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