Day 10 of Adaptation

"In spite of all this, I still can smile because I got you and everything that reminds me of you"

Life is an art. It depends on how you want to draw it, whether with simple black and white or full spectrum of colors. The most important thing is, you're at ease and happy. Your heart must be happy.

I found there's a lot of reasons that can color my life. Like my family for instance, they make me happy. My work. My friends. My staff. My goldfishes. My phone. My room. My money and etc. There's so many reasons that can make me happy. But which one I can't live without is the most important. Which one, if I know, by tomorrow they'll be gone, I'll be in doom, is much more important. It's not about how or when we lost someone or something, it's about how we adapt through the phase of it. Nothing in this world stays, for sure. So we have to know, which and which is our reasons of happiness, so that we know, we can prepare ourself earlier to face it, when any one of it, is gone.

I had such a crazy oncall the other day. My friend and I, we couldn't even enter the oncall room. I had my Maghrib and Isya' prayer at 2 in the morning and that's explain how crazy it was. We couldn't sleep obviously, not even lie down on bed. Long story short, working is something that I can't live without. It is something I find as therapy for me. Although it was stressful and literally tire me out, but at the same time, it made me forget things that prevent me to be happy, in such, if I'm not working, I'll be overly thinking about everything, and sometimes it goes really bad until I can't really function. So working, prevent me from all those sort of things. Like, how bad I miss my girlfriend. If I'm not doing anything, I'll be thinking about her for the entire day. And it sucks. Because eventhough how much I've missed her, I can't really do anything from here. So literally, I cause myself to be unhappy. And it's not good.

So, I know that working can prevent this unhealthy thinking of mine. I took as many locum slots outside just to fill myself with work. I know if I'm working, I'll get tired physically and there'll be no time for me to entertain my emotion or thinking. It's easier for me to sleep at night as well. Indirectly, it makes me happy too. I mean, what else can I do other than this right?