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Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Day 3 of Adaptation



"I may not be by your side, but you're always in my mind"

This is what happened today. Well technically speaking, people said that the more you think you don't want to think about something, the more you ended up thinking about that something. And it's true. I thought of so many possible ways to not think of her but I ended up saying and talking about her a lot today. I've said out loud her name so many times to my colleagues until I realized how much I have missed her. I thought that I could run from the fact but nope, it's not happening, yet. 

To add to the misery, one of my colleague told me that she received a text message from her this morning. I was so surprised until I couldn't even react to her. Until she said something like, "why u look so shocked?" I asked her whether I can look at the message and there you go, not only a simple text, but also an attached photo of her with my colleague's friend in Labuan. She's been ignoring my texts but afford to text others, and why it has to be my colleague? Well, I guess she's really doing fine over there. Good to know. 

And it became worst thoughout the day. The picture above was her rented house here where I always visited. I don't know what happen to me, but I ended up driving myself over there subconsciously, in hope that I could meet her again, at least, but who am I kidding right? it's completely irrelevant. And even if she really was there, what on earth did I think that she wants to meet me after all of the silence treatment. Isn't it? 

So here I am, in my bedroom, on my bed, staring straight up at the wall, counting wounds and I tried to numb them all. Do you care? Did she really care? 

I don't think so......... 

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